Another Bad Day!!!

(The bulk of this is from Last night...I have been in my apartment since Friday night and I am actually ok with the idea of it itself and getting used to it being so quiet.)

It's so amazing!!!

It's so amazing how self-centered some people can be, especially when it comes to talking about their newborn, even when they know you are grieving. Though, it came from this person and I have to say it didn't totally surprise me. She has been self-centered as long as I have known her, which was before her little girl was even thought of. I knew it was going to be hard to see her and her little baby today but then when she started making everyone focus on her and how hard her life had become and how her baby's father was going to come back and take the little girl from my "friend" (I use the word very loosely.) That's when it became basically unbearable. Luckily, I had my mom with me and she kept making eye contact with me and finally came up with a way to get me away from the table.

It's so amazing how just that little bit of time with her made me feel like I was going to explode into a fury of anger right there in front of all of my church family and this girl. Luckily, I was pulled away before I could do that and when I came back she was gone. I went to the bathroom and cried so hard. I cried because I felt like maybe I should just have a shirt made that says: "Please excuse me if I don't engage in your conversation about your baby but I just let mine go to heaven 3 weeks ago and I don't really feel ready to talk about babies right now."

It made me feel absolutely horrible for the rest of the day...so I sat in my apartment feeling horrible.

Oh well, I had to let my junk from today out somewhere.